Blindly following your court orders does not make you a good parent!
In court today I observed a hearing between two parents involved in a hearing which involved their seventeen year old child. The parents were at odds over how the child child should share the summer, attend SAT workshops and go to Student Counsel activities.
From the dad:
“Well I never could get along with mom, I followed my orders and well she had her life and I had mine……there was truly no point in communicating with her. I made sure I followed my orders and that’s about that. Our child’s resilient so she can handle the court schedule. Its my time and I can do what I want with my child.”
“Dad hasn’t budged, dad won’t work with me. Dad won’t trade off time. Dad won’t listen to what our child needs or wants. Dad is not going to get time he wants if I don’t get the time I want.”
From the court:
“If the child was younger I’d spend more time with you. I can’t believe that you actually call yourself parents. I hope your child survives and can be happy.”
Both Mom and Dad argued their case based on their wants and needs ARGUING best interest of the child WITHOUT ADDRESSING the child’s actual needs. Both mom and dad lost their ability to parent because they failed to work together, failed to be flexible and failed to coparent.