Just say no?

bullying

 

San Antonio police investigating suicide of bullied teen

KENS

SAN ANTONIO — The suicide of a San Antonio teen is grabbing national attention, in part because his brother is speaking out about the bullying his brother endured for eight months before his death.

David Molak was the youngest of three brothers; a 16-year-old who loved the Spurs. David was described as a pure soul. His older brother, Cliff, told a story he’s heard from a classmate since his brother’s death.

“One day she’s sitting at her desk putting on makeup. David turns around to her and says, ‘What are you doing? You don’t need that.’ She told me that her self-esteem has never had such a boost,” Cliff said.

San Antonio police are investigating the bullying that started eight months ago. His tormentors were fellow students. Most of the bullying was done online through Instagram.

“Things got so bad, people were starting to say, ‘We’re going to put him six feet under. You’re going to put him in a body bag,'” Cliff recalled.

David’s parents stepped in, reaching out to the school. The police report says that the main bully was suspended. David was eventually transferred to another school. He was also in therapy.

“The therapist all thought he was getting better,” Cliff said. “It was a shock to everyone that he did this.”

Over the weekend, Cliff says David received text messages they believe were the final straw. David’s lifeless body was discovered early Monday morning.

“In David’s circumstance, he’d come home and [the bullying] would never stop. It was relentless. They’d never let up on him.”

Even after his death, Cliff says the main bully is still trying to spite his brother. On Wednesday, students at Alamo Heights High School dressed in black and white, Spurs colors, in support of David. The family says the main bully wore neon colors.

 

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As parents we remember bully’s at school.  We knew when a bully would appear during lunch, after school or during the walk to class. When we got home we had a chance to regroup and lick our wounds.  We may have studied a kung fu movie to feel empowered or lifted weights.  We worried the physical threat caused when “our bully” approached.

The child who died in Texas did not appear to be a victim of physical violence.   What happened to this child seemed much worse.  This child was emotionally attacked by a circle of hyenas who bit and snipped at his heels until he could not stand.   These children delighted in his pain, his angst and his hurt.  While we knew the identity of our tormentors, this child did not.

We need to understand who these bully’s are.  We are dealing with angry kids, kids with rage, kids who can not filter their feelings within the norms of society.   These kids could be their school’s prom queen, team mascot or quarterback.  These kids can be on the honor roll or involved in ROTC.  It doesn’t matter what these kids are on the OUTSIDE, its what they’ve become on the INSIDE.

So our response to this problem is to say no to bullying?  How about “Say No To Drugs?” These short little sayings do not present effective ways to handle the problem.

We need to help the bad actors deal with ANGER and RAGE.  We need to help these kids become RESILIENT so they are not killing themselves.  If we can not create resources to help these kids we have done nothing to solve the problem.  Our inability to act makes us all responsible.

In the United States there is a reluctance to teach kids EQ or emotional intelligence.   Ewe, feelings how dorky, what a waste of resources! Are you kidding me?  How can you not get angry that there is little to NO FUNDING, NO RESOURCES to help change this situation?

The time is ripe to talk about why it is so important to help kids with their emotional intelligence.   The time is ripe to fund programs that help kids with ANGER, SADNESS and HOPELESSNESS.  If we help kids become resilient we give them defenses they NEVER EVER HAD before.

One of the principle missions of Kids First Parents Second is to help children become resilient. Our Seeds for Success Program works with children on developing their emotional intelligence so they can better manage the emotions of ANGER, FEAR and HOPELESSNESS.

 

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