We want you to support Kids Night Out!

When we started creating events for kids the one I liked the best was a “Kids Night Out.”  Basically this is a night where the child gets to go to a particular sporting event or special location.  It is a night out just to be a kid and have a chance to blow a little steam when living through a parents divorce.

As we are about to become a 501c3 it appears to me that we have a tremendous opportunity here.  Our organization can get tickets and we can send them to members nationwide who can ensure that they are getting in the hands of kids in need.  If we can get the parents to take pictures/videos of the kids receiving the tickets/jerseys to go to the event SO MUCH THE BETTER.  Imagine very soon to be part of a national effort, with Kids of Divorce having a KIDS NIGHT OUT.  What a great way to say kids matter and continue with our mission that kids needs come first in resolving divorce disputes.

We want professionals who are involved with divorcing parents to contact us.  We want professionals in Los Angeles, New York City, Dallas and Chicago to join us and become members of Kids First Parents Second, wherever you may be.    Lets send a national message in early 2016 that Kids matter!

Matt Sossi

Executive Director

Kids First Parents Second

mattsossi@bsossi.com

Is your child getting lost in your divorce?

Is your child getting lost in your divorce?

We ask you one basic question.  Can you be extraordinary? Will you be able to look back at your divorce and say that you truly put your child first?  Have you considered how your actions will impact your child in the short and long term?

Our Kids First Parent Second through the Law Office of Matt Sossi is now offering a 30 day cease fire program to help parents peacefully transition through the divorce process and end the needless conflict and pain caused by the litigation process.  Kids First Parent Second offers classes to parents and children affected by the divorce process.  Our children classes will be offered on Saturdays between 9 and 1:00 p.m.   Classes for divorcing parents will be by appointment monday through friday.  We will conclude the thirty day challenge with a 1/2 day informal settlement conference with both parents and their attorneys.

Our thirty day program costs $750.00 per divorcing parent.  Copies of course materials is included.

The Kids First Parents Second Program is headed by attorney Matt Sossi.  Matt has  litigated high conflict divorce cases in San Antonio, Texas for over twenty years.  For more information about the program contact our office at 210-224-1667 or contact  Matt Sossi at mattsossi@bsossi.com.

Kids First Parents Second

6800 Park Ten Blvd #232-E

San Antonio, Texas 78213

1-210-224-1667

#beextraodinary

Will you be Extraordinary?

KFPS wants parents to take our 30 day challenge and be Extraordinary!

We have created a 30 day cease fire initiative for parents who are walking into the fray of apparent divorce conflict.  To divorcing parents we have a question – Can you wait 30 day’s to see the effects of how your divorce is affecting your child. Will you give yourself 30 days to educate yourself on how a high conflict divorce will effect your child and your ability to parent?

The services we are providing during the cease fire initiative are as follows:  1.  We bring the kids involved in the divorce into a class room setting to share thoughts, feelings and concerns, 2.  We educate parents on the effects that a high conflict divorce will have on their ability to raise their children, 3.  We educate parents on the need to learn effective communication skills.

Kids First Parents Seconds mission to motivate parents to look to solutions raised in their divorce in a team based approach. Our program is here to help divorcing parents and help kids ages 5 and up.  We have books, manuals, smart app for kids and parents alike.  What we most want is you, the divorcing parent to make the conscious decision to take our 30 day challenge.  Put your kids first, put conflict second and most important learn to be extraordinary!

Kids First Parents Second is a nonprofit organization located in San Antonio, Texas.  For more information about KFPS visit us at kidsfirstparentsecond.org or contact us directly at mattsossi@bsossi.com.

Helping Kids from Battered Homes

Kids First Parents Second is looking to help Battered Woman Shelters who are in need of materials to help kids learn how to cope with a difficult situation. Our materials are designed to help kids express their thoughts and feelings.  Please let us know who you are, where you are and the age ranges for your kids.  Lets give these kids the help they are needing!

Matt Sossi

Kids First Parents Second

The Continental Divide

The ten steps parents go through when they get divorced.

#1.  Stop communications with their ex.

#2.  Hire a attorney.

#3.  Work out a game plan (what do you want from this lawsuit).

#4.  Build their case (pinpoint strengths and ex’s weaknesses)

#5.  Prepare for temporary orders

#6.  Perhaps take a court ordered class (by yourself) about the effects of divorce on children.

#7.  Prepare for mediation

#8.  Mediate their case/Talk in separate rooms.  Mediator offers ways in which case can be settled.

#8.  Resolve the case OR pursue the case in open court

#9.  Resume life post divorce.

#10.  Find themselves obligated to communicate with their ex about their child’s needs.

When the case files are closed we leave the parties to their own design and are surprised when parents can not work through issues together.   We shake our heads when parents can not communicate without addressing the factors behind the WHY.  We wonder HOW we can reduce conflict in divorce cases without addressing the basic needs of the person who is going through the divorce.  i hope we can all agree that the basic divorce model does little to nothing in the way to help parents learn how to effectively communication issues PRIOR to the conclusion of their divorce.  Educating on the need to communicate does little to help parents understand HOW to communicate.

Many people got divorced in the first place because they could not communicate with their ex (or chose not too).  Most people simply do not know HOW to communicate with their ex.  The parent’s inability to communicate costs the children who are affected by the divorce. Communication building needs to be a necessary component to the divorce process. What matters most to a child is the manner in which their parents interact with one another NOT necessarily the total number of days each parent is awarded.   We should be promoting different ways to help parents effectively communicate and not continuing on a course to engage in a system that further alienates the parents from each other.

Because no one else will, the role of the Amicus………..

Cases can simply get out of control quickly when high conflict attorneys enter divorce cases.  It is difficult for individuals to remember their true roles as parents when an opposing attorney acts aggressively towards them.   Family Law Attorney’s who handle divorce disputes regularly will tell you that it is hard to direct the case TOWARD resolution when opposing attorneys take a combat stance. These skilled trial attorneys are extremely effective in handling high conflict cases.  The true question is whether or not the case merits classification as a high conflict case.

So how do we move the case towards resolution when all the opposing attorney wants is prolonged conflict?  There are a few answers to this question, for the moment, lets talk about the role that an amicus has in a family law case that is not high conflict.

Appoint an Amicus:  The amicus attorney has the best chance to direct the case OUT of conflict.  An amicus first off is neutral, he or she has no dog in the fight and therefore his or her views are seen as truly objective.  The best approach in high conflict cases is for the amicus to direct the parties to a appropriate mental health professional.  The amicus must request mental health experts be appointed that can maintain a nuetral stance and be involved solely for the best interest of the child/ren in a divorce.  Having a therapist who will become an advocate for one side or another will do nothing more than perpetuate conflict.  The trick is to get the parties talking through an intermediary who will focus parents on how to act so they can meet the needs of their children.  If the case is NOT high conflict perhaps the appointment can avoid the need for a court ordered social study.  Less time in court, less cost and less conflict,  those should be the true goals of the amicus attorney in managing cases that are truly not high conflict.

The theory is if you can get the parties talking they will not want to continue to pay their lawyers large sums of money and reach agreements all by themselves.  Remember WHO you are asking be your mental health expert.  There are all types of degrees, classifications and expertises that mental health professionals have.  Understand who you are appointing, understand what experience they have and assess how they will impact your divorcing parents BEFORE they begin work.  If you assess the battlefield before the conflict begins you will have the best chance of directing the conflict towards peaceful settlement.