“Democracy don’t rule the world, You’d better get that in your head; This world is ruled by violence, But I guess that’s better left unsaid.”
As I sat back to back jury trials in February I remembered this famous quote from my idol, Bob Dylan. We had just spent months and months of trying to get the parties to resolve their family law dispute. The litigants were hell bent on going to court – hoping that conflict would get them the resolution they wanted.
Many litigants view the court system is seen a instrument for change. Court proceedings are war, and the judge’s ruling grants preference to the best warring party. The court would grant a winner and provide for a loser. That’s what our client’s expect, this is the reality our client’s know, and to some extent, warmly embrace.
I constantly sit with attorney’s who wish to resolve their family law disputes differently, have been handling family law disputes for decades. These attorney’s see the long term effects of disputes on their client’s and their children, and are normally quite critical of how the conflict model benefits both the parent’s and children of divorce long term.
In the natural world, Dylan will continue to be right, people relay on basic instincts to survive. It is up to us, advocates of cooperative parenting to create the community, the environment from which parent’s learn how to remove themselves from the conflict model to one in which they accept a team based approach. When you think about it, law was designed to counter the normal rules of man and avoid chaos.