I love my clients. They are direct and they challenge me on a day to day existence. One such client asked me, “Matt why should we send parents to therapists/psychologists to resolve their family law disputes? Parents should just be able to blow off steam during the divorce. After divorce, they just go back to their normal day to day existence.” So WHY IN THE WORLD do we need therapists when the parent’s can handle it themselves in the long run.
My dad had a way of resolving arguments like this. Mr. Sossi would say, well Matt “If you want to keep getting what your getting, keep doing what your doing.” Obviously there is a problem here in the way that children grow and develop AFTER their parent’s divorce. So personally I stop right there. If children are not allowed to fully develop and grow under the current post-divorce environment SOMETHING IS HORRIBLY WRONG.
If we can get people from hiding behind their court orders and begin communicating with one another, that may be just the start to alleviate the problems these kids have. If kid’s know that their parent’s are on the same page with one another, perhaps this would form a stronger foundation on which they can grow and develop. We can develop effective communication skills between two parent’s forms a structure that supports the child. To develop these skills will require the assistance of a professional therapist, psychologist, Parent’s simply need the help, sometimes, of a third party intervenor.
Courtrooms should not be considered the “iron cage death match” where you can get out your frustrations and grievances. While the parent’s may be okay with slugging it out in court, their children are not. Collaborative techniques, cooperative parenting are all resources so parent’s can redirect their energies and focus on their child, not petty conflict.