As a society we are failing our children. We have children who do not know their fathers or their mothers, grandmothers or grandmothers, aunts or uncles. We currently have children going from one foster home to the next, exposed to third world conditions while living in the United States of America. We have children without the hope of having a structured home environment.
A child without structure is a child without hope. A family of whatever type present’s the best source of stability for a child, whether it is composed of a traditional nuclear family or an extended family. A child’s basic needs are to be healthy, happy and live in a stable environment in they can thrive.
It is a gift for a child to have a family. It is a gift for a child to have a mother, father, grandparent(s), aunts and uncles. The gift remains the same whether the family is a traditional nuclear family or an extended family composing of mother’s or father’s living in separate homes. All that matters to a child is that the people inside the families provide him or her with love, emotional support and direction. The child needs these things just as badly as they need air, water and food. To not provide these things to a child is to affect their emotional development. To not provide these things to a child is to affect how they will grow as adults.
It is the basic responsibility of a parent to ensure that the child is given a shelter, is well fed and given a stable environment. It is also the responsibility of a parent to minimize conflicts in the child’s life to ensure that the child can develop into a healthy adult member of society. It is a parent’s job to sacrifice one’s own personal interest’s to make sure that the child’s needs are addressed. A parent’s conflict with the child’s other parent should never be superior to addressing the needs of their child. Child first, parent second.
So in a family law context, we need to find a way to resolve parent child conflict in a much better way. Parents must understand, from the onset of separation, that there is a need to communicate and a need to understand how they will interact for the benefit of the child. Selfishness and hidden agenda’s will not only cost you lots and lots of money, it will earn you the hatred of your other spouse, and worst of all, a lifetime relationship with your child.