I ask you to sit across from me. When we are situated I explain that I have two pictures to show you. I explain nothing to you leaving you ill prepared for you what you are about to see.
The first picture I show is your ex spouse. Your ex looks angry, imagine that.
One would imagine you would have a few reactions. You might get angry, you might laugh or you might say I’m outta here. So basically a flight or fight response. You don’t ask to even look at the second picture, why would you?
Now imagine that I show you the second picture first. This picture is of your child. Wonderful you say, how did you get this picture? You would want to engage me in some sort of conversation. You would be thinking about your child.
Kids seminar’s keep you focused on what’s important. You are looking at the needs of your child. Seeing what your kids are going through focuses you on what needs to be accomplished. Your focus will be on ending conflict sooner than later.
Your kids need your help after the divorce. Their world, their family structure is gone. They need guidance and direction. Your kids need to know that everything is going to be okay and they can get on with life as they know it. Your kids do not need you to be engaged in constant conflict with their other parent.
So look to your kids when your engaging with an ex – focus on what that child needs and not on what your feeling when you see your ex!