(Interacting with both) Parents is important to a child.
Normally people are married for years prior to filing for divorce. It is during the time the marital relationship is maintained that children will establish strong ties to both of their parents. The fact that a mother and father no longer wish to be together does not mean that a child shares the same desire. The child will always need their mom and dad. Children are desperately afraid that they will lose a relationship with one of their parents after a divorce.
Your child did not pick his or her mommy or daddy, you and your ex did that. It is clearly your right to leave the relationship you had with your ex… It is also equally clear that you have a responsibility to your child that they know, no matter what, that their mom and dad will always be there for them.
If you remarry, your new spouse does not the child’s mother or father. Your child may look at your new spouse as a parental figure, but may get confused if you asked them to call them “mom” or “dad.” If you have younger children, try and talk and help them choose a word that helps them which their relationship to this new person in their life. Some children find happiness and comfort in identifying with your new spouse as “Mom” or “Dad. Some other children will get lost in the meaning of calling this person by this name, wondering that they have lost a relationship with their actual biological parent.
Matt Sossi: Excerpt from A-Z guide to cooperative parenting