(Always) Keep the lines of communication open. Excerpt from A-Z guide to Cooperative Parenting

Keep the lines of communication open between yourself and your ex.

          Assume that husband and wife enter into an agreed divorce and work out a parenting agreement involving their minor two year old child.  The two stop talking and go their separate ways, each getting remarried within a one year period.  Both parents keep to the visitation schedule, and pick up the children at the end of school days only, religiously avoiding one another for fear that it could affect the new relationship they share with their present spouses.

Mother hires an attorney believing that the father has too much time with their five year old child now that the child has begun the second grade.  Mother has not talked to her ex about changing his visitation schedule because she and her new husband agree that litigation will be the key to getting the results they want. Mom genuinely believes the modification will be in the child’s best interest she does not think that the current visitation is workable given the child’s new schedule.

 Mom and dad look at each other from their respective tables inside the court room and shake their head.  The key reason why they got themselves into this situation is they had a failure to communicate with one another other about their child’s changing needs.   Visitation schedules will most likely change based upon the age and needs of your child. Your original order may not address every change your child needs.  

Practically speaking an agreement that meets the parent’s needs to have ample or even equal weekly periods access for a young child may not serve the child’s needs once they begin to attend school.  Talking through the issue would allow the parent’s to understand that this conflict could be resolved simply by redrawing the father’s time by looking at a calendar.   If you can resolve this through mediation, why would you want to go into a court room and have a Court decide your child’s fate?

Think of your parenting plan as a living breathing organism that will grow and change over time.  Understand that communication is the essential ingredient keeps you’re the agreement viable.  You don’t have to talk to your ex every day to keep the lines of communication open, nor do you have to talk to them week.  Sharing information over the internet and emailing your concerns lets the other parent know what is going on and what changes may need to be changes to be made to the child’s existing parenting agreement so the child is taken care of.

 

Matt Sossi

One thought on “(Always) Keep the lines of communication open. Excerpt from A-Z guide to Cooperative Parenting

  1. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will certainly return.

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